I wish you knew how sad this makes me….
You
I love YOU, you make me happier than I’ve ever been. You may think I want other people but I dont. There’s nobody else in this world I’d rather have besides you. Always remember that.
I’m tired
I’m tired of this, there’s nobody to blame but me. I miss what we had, before I went downhill, before I was so angry. But this is over, my life is going the wrong direction when I had it going perfect. I’m getting my old life back, the happy pleased one we had. I’m sorry for what I did, but now im doing things right for us. I love you<3
All of these feelings…
I guess I don’t really have any friends on here, but it doesn’t matter as long as I get this off my chest… I love this girl Ashley with all of my heart and soul. She got pregnant after about a year and 2 months, we both wanted to keep it, but her mom didn’t. So her mom made her get rid of it when she was 8 weeks, that broke my heart more than anything, honestly it hurts so bad I can’t explain. I don’t know how to explain these feelings… It hurts, it hurts so bad. I hope she wants to try again, but I’ll always remember my child. Not only my child, but hers, ours, our family. I had thoughts of holding it’s hand, boy or girl I wasn’t sure, regardless I’d love it, but to be honest I really wanted a girl. I know she would have been so beautiful too, so perfect, and I would love her more than anything just as I do Ashley. Although she’s gone (or he), I still love it. I just can’t help but feel like it’s my fault, she told me not to fight her mom because she’d get mad, I know that’s respecting her wishes, but I regret not yelling at her mom, and fighting for my baby. That was not her baby, it was mine, and it was also her grandchild. That was God’s beautiful gift to all of us, when some people out there can’t even receive that gift and she just threw it away. Why didn’t I fight when I should have said “No, I can’t respect that you want me to stay out of it, it’s my baby too.” And I did, I just did nothing about it, I should have… I regret this more than anything, and to you Isabella Nicole Duvall, I am truly sorry. I always told you I love you and I truly do, I always talked to you and lay my head by you, but I didn’t get to do any of the things a father truly wants. I didn’t get to play with you in the park, get you ice cream, tuck you in at night, tell you bed time stories, see you off to prom, kiss your forehead, hug you, kiss you, hear you say you love me back, see you get married, and so so so much more. I’ll never have that chance with you anymore, and I’m sorry, I wish I had done more. I regret this so much, and this has scarred me. I will always love you, just as much as I love your mother.
Baby Mama, this is for you, I love you more than anything, I wish I could show you how much I care, but I feel like if I don’t bottle this up I’ll go crazy. After all, I wanted this very much, to have a baby with you, and you know it. I wish it had happened… We can try again, I want to so very much.
